Human trafficking

Have you ever had the moment when God has said "How.Dare.You." I've never had that moment until today. Yes I've sinned and really sinned before. And I keep on sinning sometimes extremely stupid things and sometimes i don't even know i'm sinning. But today was like an ah-ha moment. A moment that hasn't stopped since i had that moment (a couple hours ago). I saw a video today about human trafficking and it lit a fuse...I say fuse because I already had a fire in me about this particular subject but now its just stirring in me. I want to do something. I can donate money and all that but i want to do more. I want to educate people, help women, rescue children, want to be at the right place at the right time. But I have realized the first thing I need to do is pray. I am so naive and ignorant to think that i want to do more than prayer...but what is more powerful than prayer? Nothing.
Well lets just say I am doing my research on this subject and I don't want to stop learning because I want to be educated on this. I want to be smart about this, I want to help. But I need to pray. I want to pray. I want you to pray.
Did you know that Chiapas, Mexico is one of the worst places for child prostitution...Mexico!! And the US is one of the leading places that take in human slaves! It breaks my heart in a million pieces that i cannot even explain. My eyes are burning, my heart is burning, my soul is burning and i just feel numb now. I don't even want to do anything right now...Just talking about it gets me crying, i can't even think about it without tearing up...i can't even write about it without tearing up. Just know it got me really good. And its really hard to not think about how little things...jokes, words, what ive seen, watched, done could have participated in this. It kills me. Emotionally kills me. Please, if your reading this...study this. Read on this. Do something about this. Pray with me. Pray with us. Let this affect you.

Facebook 101

Today has been an eventful yet a little boring day. I didn't really go out much today, when i did go out it was to workout at the gym which i havent done in quite a while, and i need to do more of it cause i've gained way too many pounds and i want to look good! So couple things I did today that were significant: 1. I skyped with Ronnie today! It was cool than a little sad...he grew out a little mustache and beard (not a fan) and it was just a little sad because of all the changes that have happened and it was kinda cool that i really made a difference in Urgency. He was telling me that things just weren't the same when i left and sometimes you think if things would be better if you weren't even there, but i realized that things were good when i was there and i did make a difference. *sigh I also made a video for Charlton and Cindy because this will be their last weekend at Urgency...so that was pretty cool
2. I skyped with my sister and sean, and its always nice to see family. I got to see the latest picture of Noah and in about 5 days he will be here and i will get to see him!! woohoo!! I'm so excited...i will be more excited when i will get to hold him!
3. I called United Airlines and tried to get my returning ticket fixed. So my return is on October 3rd (which is kinda funny cause its my dads bday...surprise!) but I was talking to the lady who kept on messing up what i was saying and at first she said that i could change my ticket to Dec 15th and i asked if there was anything sooner and she said no so i said ok, i'll come back on the 15th than she said oh no we don't have until Dec 27th!! I'm like...um NO! Not acceptable!! but she was like but theres nothing available..I said well i'll call back another time and I hung up on her...i was so mad!! grrrrrrrrrrr So I called my mom to see if she can call from there cause maybe they'll give her better service.
4. So i try not to be facebook police...but when it comes to teens and i know their parents, lets just say i gave someone a ticket today. I feel kinda bad, but not really because the person is not even using their real name on fb and the stuff they write is just not what a 15 yr old should be writing and i knew their parent didn't know anything about this. So i called the mom today and spoke to her, and she was really cool about it, like wanting to find the right time to speak to her kid about it...which made me feel better...but i still felt bad. But come on!! Don't write stuff on fb if you don't want people to find out!! Hello!! Facebook 101!
So besides those stuff i've kinda just lounged out today..being a home body doing my home thing. The next couple days are gonna be pretty hectic so i wanted to just chill and do much of nothing. Mission Accomplished.

Colour

There are times when time goes by super fast than it goes super slow. Lets just say these past few weeks have gone by really fast! And its good cause it seems like i've actually done stuff. We just had Colour Conference, Hillsongs annual womans conference. There were 10,000 women here for this conference and lets just say it was hectic at times. I was allocated to the information desk, you know answering questions all that good stuff. And I have many wins and i gave out tons of information but there was this one lady that was pretty annoyed with me. (why is it that there is always that negative ONE that we always remember) well she had priority seating and i didn't know what door she needed to go through so all i said was "let me ask" and she was like "no thank you i'll just ask around" and she left pretty annoyed. Than after she came straight to me and was like "its door 4" and i wanted to be like...yeah, so! but i just gave her a smile and said "yup! thanks"...that may have gotten her a little more annoyed, but oh well!
But now for the good stuff...So, Lisa Bevere, Jeanne Mayo, Christine Caine, and Craig Groeschel were the special speakers and it was a powerhouse! I was blessed to be able to go into the sessions I wanted to and it was so amazing. Lisa Bevere spoke about being a Lioness and pouncing on the enemy...I bought the book. And Christine Caine, WOW. There is this fire in me for human trafficking and stopping it, and i want to so bad to get involved in a program...A21 maybe but she was so passionate about that she lit a fire in me, it was amazing.
Even though Colour was pretty tiring, i got through it and was so happy i did it. I even got included in the video they made for the volunteers! It was so cool...

Tired

Its already been 8 days and so much has happened...when i get enough time to sleep and rest, i'll write it all out, so for now, just know I'm enjoying Colour and adding to the list of speakers i have heard in my life time some guns are:
- Dr Yonggi Cho
- Jeanne Mayo
- Lisa Bevere
- John Bevere
- Benny Hinn
- Michael Pitts
- TD Jakes
- Paula White
- Myles Munroe
- Marcos Witt
- Marcos Barrientos
- Cash Luna
- Brian Houston
- Robert Fergusson
- Louie Giglio
- Joel Stockstill
- John Maxwell
- Tudor Bismark
- Christine Caine
- Phil Pringle
- Bobbie Houston

I know theres more but I will be adding to the list later...its just late and i'm tired...

So good

So a couple days i had a pity party, and it just wasn't fun. But these past couple days haven't been too bad. I've learned so much in class about God about myself. I had a public speaking class and we had to do impromptu 2 minutes speeches in front of our group. Whenever i preached i really thought that i couldnt preach without my notes but with my speech (even though it was only 2 mins) i did awesome! and without notes! It kinda tripped me out how well spoken i was and how easy it was for me just to go up and talk in front of people. I just thought that was really cool.
This past week God has been dealing with me about some stuff and i never felt the enemy try to attack me so much and it was so evident and there was a moment that i wanted to give in and just give up. Like i was this close..and really the only thing that really helped me get through it was prayer and listening to worship music. Sometimes thoughts would try to invade my brain and i entertained them for a moment than had to really kick em out. These are the things that i deal with and i know i will continually deal with them while i'm here. Its like the things i had dealt with in the past are coming back and saying there not fully dealt with and God is wanting to deal with them.
Which sucks on one point but is so awesome on the other hand. Because its so graceful and merciful of God to deal with these things while i'm in the desert. Like He's not putting me in front of everyone and making me deal with stuff in front of everyone else, but giving me my space to deal with things...with Him. *sigh....so good.

Dont Fit In

Today I wanted to vent on here. I had all my words all ready to just go at it. I was gonna say some stuff that i knew would make them feel guilty or bad. I had words for people. I had words....
Than I went to church today, I honestly didn't want to, I wasn't feeling up for it. It sometimes hard to go to church by yourself, to sit alone. But i did, I went. On my way there I walked with this girl Aliona, shes in my class and we talked on the way to church. And we parted ways and I sat. Worship was great, like always, and then Pastor Brian was there and gave the message. He was talking about life and living. That life is too short and its too long. But in this life it goes by like a vapor and we can never get it back. He spoke about living your dreams and pursuing your passions. It was a great message that had me in tears at the end, because he confirmed to me that I needed to be here. As much as the opportunity here is amazing its hard for me right now.
I spoke to a friend of mine that was just reaffirming to me that I am here for a reason. That no matter how bad I feel or sad there are people there that love me. That even if i feel lonely physically, there are people who pray for me, care for me, and love me. After chatting and laughing it did make me feel heaps better.
Do i get lonely sometimes? Yes, of course. Is it hard for me to make friends? Unfortunately, yes. Charlene gave this to me 2 years ago and its still hard to read now but its what im still going through:
I know you want to be accepted by others, but you were not made to fit in. You, My princess, were created to stand out. Not to draw attention to yourself, but to live the kind of life that leads others to Me. Remember, it's your choices that will pave your path to life. I will not force you to do anything. I have given you a free will to walk with Me or to walk away from Me. I want you to know that you can put on your crown at any time and let people know that you belong to Me. You have a royal call on your life. I want you to remember you wear the crown of everlasting life, and through you I will do abundantly more than you would ever dare to dream.

HILLSONG WITH EVERYTHING EN ESPAÑOL

Ok i know i said i would post both english and spanish videos...but the spanish video wouldnt let me post...so you can youtube it, if you really wanna see it...but this is the english one, just with subtitles

Do you Realize?

Do you Realize how much i love...like LOVE...LOVE Spanish music. I know right, like you wouldn't think...but yeah. i love it so much. So i barely found out last year that Hillsong had come out with another spanish album. I was super bummed cause i couldn't find it ANYWHERE!! So low and behold tonight I'm surfing the itunes world and guess what i find?? CON TODO!!! and guess what song it has With Everything...yeah Con Todo..I didn't put the 2 and 2 together. So i'm listening to Con Todo and i can just picture the Spanish Ministry playing this and just seeing them rock out and just worshipping God...Con Todo!! (if they don't do it...than when i get back, you better believe they'll start)
Everytime i hear this song...i just get the shivers cause it makes me want to jump up and start singing at the top of my lungs...yeah, its one of THOSE songs. So i'll attach youtubes of the english version and the spanish version. Honestly, i do like the english version better, but the spanish version isnt bad, just the english version they rock out more, but i'm sure we can do something about that. I just wanted to share my Con Todo experience...because if you just sit and listen...no ditractions, you'll find yourself wanted to sing at the top of your lungs just worshipping. Its THAT good.