So a couple days i had a pity party, and it just wasn't fun. But these past couple days haven't been too bad. I've learned so much in class about God about myself. I had a public speaking class and we had to do impromptu 2 minutes speeches in front of our group. Whenever i preached i really thought that i couldnt preach without my notes but with my speech (even though it was only 2 mins) i did awesome! and without notes! It kinda tripped me out how well spoken i was and how easy it was for me just to go up and talk in front of people. I just thought that was really cool.
This past week God has been dealing with me about some stuff and i never felt the enemy try to attack me so much and it was so evident and there was a moment that i wanted to give in and just give up. Like i was this close..and really the only thing that really helped me get through it was prayer and listening to worship music. Sometimes thoughts would try to invade my brain and i entertained them for a moment than had to really kick em out. These are the things that i deal with and i know i will continually deal with them while i'm here. Its like the things i had dealt with in the past are coming back and saying there not fully dealt with and God is wanting to deal with them.
Which sucks on one point but is so awesome on the other hand. Because its so graceful and merciful of God to deal with these things while i'm in the desert. Like He's not putting me in front of everyone and making me deal with stuff in front of everyone else, but giving me my space to deal with things...with Him. *sigh....so good.
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