Time

Today was my day off and it was rainy and gloomy outside so i didn't do much. I went to brekky with Michelle and she took me to a hot spot in Redfern and it was really cute. I ordered scrambled eggs with toast and side of hash and chorizo. (Now I wasnt sure how the chorizo would be here...i needed to take a chance) Food came out and it looked good. I wanted to try it all to see...Eggs were good...Hash Browns good...Toast good...Chorizo not so good. It was just so salty! Bleh i couldn't have more of it. We talked about her wedding and some plans. Shes not the type of person to stress over that stuff so she was just really relaxed about everything (even though they have nothing set in stone) and weddings in like 6 months! Ahhh...Australians are so laxed about everything...which to a point i really like.
We came back and I went to the gym again. Day 2...I have to keep going after today, like i cant give up. I'm on a roll and I gained 6 pounds and soooo not happy! So I'm gonna try to eat carbs in the morning but none the rest of the day...will it work? who knows! But its worth a shot.
So i've been just organizing all day and i know ive said that i could stay here for 2 years but i got this feeling over me that I'm only meant to stay for one. Even though i heard the 2nd year is amazing, i just got this peace that i'm only called to be here for a year. I don't want to say it was God but than again I don't not want to say it wasn't God. So...only time will tell.
I am enjoying the time here and no i don't feel like home...i don't know if that time will come, but i don't know if i will ever feel like its home. i dont know if I'm supposed to. Maybe i'm looking into it too early? I don't know...time..time...time

Just hold on

Sometimes i think that people get through life a bit easier than me especially for friends. I was talking to this girl and she told me that she finally felt home here after 6 months. That really gave me strength to keep going. To know that God has me here for a reason and I am to accomplish it. I had a good day today. I actually worked out and i felt so good! I really want to keep doing that at least 3-4 times a week. Than i was watching Darlene Zschech on live stream and it was so good. I saw Pastor Dick announce that Michael W Smith and Amy Grant than Israel Houghton will be at the church this year. I am jealous about Michael W Smith, because I've always loved him (especially his old stuff). But i get to worship with at Hillsong. Everyday! Hellooo! So good.
I was feeling really lonely yesterday and cried a couple times and just prayed that God would give me a better day today and He so did. I think it may have to do that i actually worked out, cause according to Jenny if i work out it will build endorphins and i'll be happy! Yeah, sounds so easy!
But it worked! It was just nice to come down from serving and seeing some friends and being able to just sit and chat with them. Than having someone come from behind and hug me...a feeling i miss the most. I did the 5 love languages test and my first 2 (tied) 1a. Quality time & 1b(2). Words of affirmation 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Physical Touch 5.Acts of Service and this shows that i just need that quality time with people. And when your building relationships its hard at first...because that trust isnt fully there yet. But like Chingy (the girl that took 6 months to feel like home) told me...keep holding on...it'll come.

I should just work out!

Its thursday here and i'm sitting in the cafe just had a fresh orange, apple, and watermelon juice. I've had a pretty revealing couple of days. I had this class yesterday and the teacher gave me a piece of paper and told us to read the question and without thinking about the answer just write the first thing that comes to mind. They were questions that dealt with God and how i really see him. Well lets just say i realized that i don't trust God as much as i should. And its mostly because i think i can control things. Even in those things that i know i can't control...i still try to control them. So...with that in mind...i have a lot of soul searching to do!
Another thing is something i've been struggling with. And so i look in the mirror or even at myself and i just don't like my stomach. Granted its not the worst but its not the best but i just HATE like HATE working out and running. I came in this morning and saw a friend of mine who runs 5 miles a day and she looks awesome...and i'm like i can look like that! But then realized how much i hate running! Ugh such a struggle for me...I know its not a bog deal to some people and you may be reading this and say..."um just run!" Well for me its WAY easier said than done...but i'm gonna try to get the strength to do it...or just get myself up in the morning because i think if i go in the morning i'm more likely to do it because when i was training and did it in the morning i felt soooo much better throughout the day...(ok i'm just thinking out loud now).
There are just some things i need to get in order that i want to do them i just need someone to whip me into shape. But I know i have the discipline to do them cause i've done it before...its just getting the motivation and desire to go with it.
I'm so glad tomorrows friday, i'm tired, this whole week has gone by so fast and i have homework due monday!! So i'll probably work on that tonight and have it done by Saturday..hopefully. I know this blog isn't too exciting...Well maybe i should add that I have been eating more fruits and different fruits...well ok just 1 different fruit, i heard that eating a grapefruit with your meals will help lose weight so i've been eating grapefruit...will it work? who knows, its worth a shot...I KNOW I SHOULD JUST WORK OUT!!

Today is a good day

Today is one of those days that i wouldn't mind doing again. Like i feel good. Yesterday even though the internet was going in and out and was totally annoying...i had 3 nice convos with people. 1) with my sister...always a nice conversation to have with her and Naomi...and Sean letting me know about the freshman 15. 2) on facebook IM with Daniel...it was a good convo because things are not what i perceive them to be. I've been noticing that lately. He seemed so lively, so popular, so in with everyone. But he was telling me that he doesn't go out much and is actually pretty shy. It was cool to know that what i may think as one thing, is actually another. It really opened my eyes to not take the superficial stuff as truth. Thanks Jesus for that revelation. And 3) convo with Willie, my new dance teacher! I am so excited to be dancing again...i mean i didnt get to learn much last week cause of the scheduling but he seemed like a groovaloo. And next week the group is going to a studio to do some grooves...which = freestyle! I hate freestyle! I dont know i may start to like it...who knows.
Well this morning was like a super cool day cause i got to class and wasn't afraid of where i'll sit and if someone will want me to sit next to them...which no one did haha, but i sat next to my flatmate and some other girls i know. Than before chapel Laura came up to me and talked a little and than i spoke to Tina cause she really liked my makeup (ha!) and wanted to know what kind it was so i'm bringing her some to check out tonight. We have sisterhood tonight and i'm meeting with a girl in a couple minutes to change my fieldwork cause i hated...like loathed what i was doing. But anyway...So today was very chill but i feel good right now. I feel good that I feel like its finally coming together bit by bit. That God is definately speaking to me about things that i need to work on..than actually working on them...thats my mission now...if i choose to accept it (which i will)
Oh and to workout more too. Like for breakfast i just felt disgusting after i ate...than i went to coles and bought some food and made grilled chicken with veggies and (it was good) i felt so good...light after i ate it. I also bought some grapefruit (yuk!) for the morning cause i hear thats good for burning fat and yogurt for snacking. So things are changing here. Im cooking (everday) I'm eating different things...trying new things without hesitation...going out and seeing the sights...making actual friends - girl friends!

What dreams may come

Yesterday was a monumental day. It was a day that i realized that a lot of my friends are making their dreams come true. I saw Ceci perform and sell her cd. I was there and she blew me away. I was just watching her and I started crying. I was crying because she was doing it...she was doing what she always wanted to. She was living the dream...her dream and God made it all possible for her. I don't think she ever thought there would be a day where people would stand in line just to hug her. I don't know if anyone really does. But there were...I was one of those people in line! And as i hugged her i was teary eyed because I was so proud of her. I mean I know i'm not part of her family, but i remember her writing her songs and now shes selling her cd!
What a day. So last night I drove with Felicity and met up with Tamara, Jenny and Elizabeth at the gig than went to the beach. Its Felicitys birthday on Sunday and we took her out and got some pizza and it was Urban Gypsy night, so there were a lot of guys there. And we were there having convo when this drunk guy came and try to talk to us. And we were just trying to ignore him, than he pulls up a chair to our table! But Jenny was being sassy and trying to get him away, so finally he left and we had some good pizza and took some funny pictures by the beach.
This morning i went to the vision breakfast, and though they cooked...its nothing like Judys breakfast! Oh how i miss real bacon....
But it was really cool and they shared missions plans and new building plans and all this good stuff. So than when i got back i took a nap, cause i slept really late and got up pretty early. I'm taking more naps now...maybe its the 30 thats creeping on me, or im just really tired. haha

Mystery

I know I know...its been awhile since my last blog post and I'm sorry people who actually read this blog. But here goes the past couple days. It all starts about 2 years ago...I fell in love with the song Mystery by Phil Wickham and i knew i heard another song with Mystery in it but could NEVER put a band or song to the tune that has been in my head for YEARS. So back to the present....On Saturday a group of people went to have a dinner at a flat across from mine and we actually had breakfast for dinner. So this guy Rick puts on Switchfoot in his mac and some songs i've heard and i was like yeah yeah, i've never been the biggest switchfoot fan (in my head i'm saying this) and he's raving how that was the best album ever...than the tune that has been stuck in my head comes on his mac...yes the mystery song!!! Inside i am jumping up and down, spinning around, wanting to throw up my hands and scream because finally...FINALLY.. FINALLY the song has come to ME!!! it has been the most frustrating thing to try to figure this mystery out for years people...YEARS!!!
Okay enough on the mystery melody rant...i can relax now...I have been blessed with some really good friends especially this one girl Laura. Shes from Brisbane and her accent is awesome and this other girl from Seattle was talking to us and she thought I was from Australia cause of my "accent"!! haha I was like nope I'm from California! I thought that was funny. Anyway so through Laura I've met Elizabeth too and shes been awesome, shes in my year so i have someone to sit next to and walk with to class. Also i met Felicity and Tamara through Laura, i don't go to school with them but we're all going on Friday to watch Ceci play!! I'm so excited cause well its Ceci and i've always loved her music and shes leaving next wednesday back home :'( but itll be good for her.
Maybe a shocker for some of you is that I started drinking cappuccinos...yes, thanks to this place called the French house i enjoyed my full cup of cappuccino...I tried another one today but it wasn't as good as the French House so we'll see if i drink anymore outside of that cafe.
Classes have been absolutely amazing...its like all the classes have some new revelation in them and I have been picking stuff up from each of them. Today was kinda hard for me cause even though class was great...I had a venting session with Laura and Elizabeth. Well it all started with me seeing Naomis picture on facebook and how shes growing up so fast and i only get to see it through pictures and skype once in awhile and i miss her so much. Also, just messy flatmates that all the little things have gotten to me and i was tearing up a bit this morning but once i talked it out and decided to change some things with me, i did feel a lot better. I also felt better after i spoke to Josh cause he was part of my class group and hes from santa barbara and 27 and just telling me that the first couple months for him were hard and he wanted to leave and was questioning God with why the heck he was even in Australia? And it was exactly how i was feeling and he told God that after 30 days if nothing changes than he's out.
Well he said about the 28th day God just showed him some real things of why he was there and little by little God was being more evident in my life and he just encouraged me to stick it out because its so worth it and i would meet incredible friends and God will make things better for me as long as I am open to Him.
So after the morning it just felt that God was strategically putting people in my path to help me with what I was going through and to make the day and my time here worth it.

Hot as....

Today I started my first service in the church. But before i get to that it was 106 degrees here!!! 1..0...6!!! So hot that i didn't even want or desire to step outside. So i slept in cause last night i didn't sleep till after 2am because I didnt get back from hanging out with Laura till almost 11. We went to her friends house and she made ginormous Lasagna...it was good, but I think all that cheese messed me up. :/ And it was super hot in her place, no AC plus oven on plus 10 girls is HOT. So i got back and we were up playing monopoly (well Kayla, Mel, & Cam) were playing and I was Facebook stalking (or just looking for new people to add) and than we played Catchphrase when Rachael and Vanessa got back. That was surprisingly really fun.
So i didn't get up till like 11 something did my devotional and than...i opened the windows to get some fresh air and quickly closed them again cause i thought hell had taken over! So i stayed home and chilled, read some, rested some and than got ready for my first day of serving. So on the weekend i'll be serving Guest Relations...on my paper it says Cooking...but I like Guest Relations better. Its prepping the Pastors Lounge and when Pastors come give em drinks all that Hospitality good stuff. I worked with Fiona and she was super nice. We made a fruit platter and got everything ready...and like pretty much every Pastors lounge the fruit was barely touched. But, that means good for me, because i got to take some of it home! Free Fruit!! The Best!!
So on my walk back here I ate a bag of fruit...but i have like 3-4 bags more...which is fine cause thats brekkie tomorrow and snacks...free food is good food.

Listening to Me

*if your looking for the tearjerker blog its the one before this one*

So finally after a year, i listened to the only podcast of a preaching i did last year. I finally had the courage to hear myself. I was able to hear myself when i preached but i never wanted to go back and listen. So i did tonight. And the verdict? There were highs and lows. I do say "like", "um", "you know" a lot. Which i know i need to work on but i really liked what i said...even though the description of the sermon doesn't match the preaching but its ok.
Anyway, so i encourage anyone to listen to yourself so you know how you really speak and also to make sure that you still believe what your preaching after time. I was listening and i was like...yeah thats so true...wow, i said that? thats profound!
So yeah i'm pretty good...Praise the Lord, cause i always thought i was boring! So i can't judge my preaching on the audiences of emotions and know that God is with me.

Mid movie Song

You know in the middle of the movie, where in the beginning the person (we'll just say girl) is working things out in her life and things are just not going good at all. She seems like nothing can be right and is down and depressed and questions all her decisions. Than, out of nowhere comes this glimmer of light. Like something just clicks and she knows that everything will be ok, than just as she widens her eyes the chorus of a song (a really good song) comes on and she gets this big smile because she just realized something...Yeah that was me yesterday.
So, I went to Powerhouse and I entered into the garage (the foyer) and i was like crap, i don't know anyone so it wasn't easy for me to socialize. Than i saw Michelle (phew) and we were chatting and i asked her about volunteer opportunities in the ministry and i told her i didn't really want to take a leadership role because i really just want to see things and figure things out. So she told me that she thought i would be good in like events part of the service. So i was like, yeah that sounds like fun. So service started than finished and after i spoke to the girl who was over events, Steph. Than she tells me theres an opening in the events, like this guy was doing it but he wanted to step down...but its like making sure doors are open, that volunteers are in play blah blah blah...all that jazz and i was telling her, hey thats what i did back home, and i actually enjoyed that part! She was happy because i think she was looking for a replacement. So after i spoke to her i didn't really stay after cause i didn't really know anyone and as i was walking home thats where the glimmer of light came...I didnt hear a real song but if i did hear a song i think it would be "One More Time" by daft punk.
So that was my glimmer of hope in the dark clouds because i was just so happy to volunteer. I never thought i would be so happy to volunteer in the church again. (ok its only been a month, but still).
Than this morning I go to brekkie (breakfast) with Emma and it was so nice. I was kinda spilling my guts to her and just telling her my focus and deepest desire for this year and why i'm here, and also about the struggles to fit in and the people that i have fit in with were older people not in college, and she was telling me that it might even be better to be friends with the staff...and i thought about it and was like...oh yeah huh...duh!
Anyway, than we had sisterhood and for some reason this always reminds me of my sister ...most likely cause "sisterhood" has the word sister in it (yeah im a smart one) but, the reason i loved sisterhood so much was not for the awesome preaching and the girls that were so open to me and loving...but because i miss my sister. I never realized how much i missed her...and not just this time im away from her but because I've missed her for a long time. And i'm not putting blame on anything or anyone but it was my own fault. For distancing myself, for not being open and honest, for not being the little sister that i should have been. And the little sister that i want to be now. I think the greatest thing about the mercy and grace of God is that He implements it in us. His children are able to have that open arm policy. No questions asked. Just love given. And if you know my sister, she has a temper and is stubborn (sometimes), but she is incredibly loving and will move the end of the earth for you...(sound like anyone *cough *cough mom) And i've decided that i am going to try harder, especially with her. Not only cause she has the cutest daughter in the world (no im not biased) but because she is my best friend. She always has been, i just never knew it...until now. So thank you Sisterhood for allowing me to see that (yeah thats womens ministry).
So if your crying by now (adriana) just know this is barely the beginning of this year. God is incredible and is doing amazing things...I was talking to Emma and she was saying that its amazing what God did for me during Powerhouse and she was able to hear conviction in my words and oh that felt so good to hear that someone was able to not only hear my words but feel them too. So lets just say its been a good 2 days. Today we did an excercise that we had to write 5 words that describe ourselves and mine were
1. chill
2. silly
3. peacemaker
4.loving
5.observant
And with these 5 words make a vision statement of ourselves and mine is:
"I am a peacemaker from God, for God, by God."